MY STORY
I didn’t arrive at this work by accident.
For nearly a decade, I was stuck - a sexless marriage, a toxic work environment, chronic pain, weight struggles, and a depression that dulled everything. At 35, I reached a breaking point. It felt like a choice between numbing out or choosing myself. I chose myself.
I started small: caring for my body, listening to my inner voice, and taking one step at a time toward building a life that fit - including starting my own business. I pulled from what I already knew: the artist’s way of seeing problems differently (thank you, Rhode Island School of Design), the energy work I learned as a certified yoga instructor, and the habit change and presence that come from meditation. Those practices helped me transform how I moved through the world.
As I kept choosing myself, I learned more about who I am - and how powerful we become when we actually listen inside. I found the courage to come out fully: queer, nonbinary, polyamorous, pansexual, and self-employed. Today I steward my energy with care and help others do the same - so your values, voice, and choices finally line up.
TRAINING & CERTIFICATIONS
Integrated Attachment Theory™ (IAT)
Blends psychology with practical tools to help you understand your attachment patterns and create secure, lasting change. It targets the subconscious drivers behind habits and relationships, guiding you to reprogram beliefs and build healthier dynamics.
Nonviolent Communication® (NVC)
A compassion-centered framework that turns judgments and defensiveness into observations, feelings, needs, and clear requests. By centering everyone’s well-being and needs, NVC fosters connection and collaboration so solutions arise without coercion.
Wheel of Consent®
a practical model of relating that helps you notice what you want, what you’re willing to offer, and where your boundaries are—bringing clarity and authenticity to interactions. Rooted in embodied practice, it offers a simple shared language for asking and agreeing, and applies to everyday life with or without touch.
THE PRACTICE OF BEING
YOURSELF
My lived experience and practical frameworks translate growth into daily practice through trauma-aware, consent-first coaching.
WHAT QUALIFIES ME TO LEAD YOU ON THIS JOURNEY?
LIVED EXPERIENCE
I blend lived queer/poly experience with tools from meditation, yoga, art, consent work, Nonviolent Communication, and attachment theory - translated into usable skills, not jargon.
MODALITIES & METHODS
I apply Integrated Attachment Theory™ (IAT), Nonviolent Communication® (NVC), and Wheel of Consent®–informed somatic agreement practices, grounded in nervous-system awareness, boundary skills, and consent-based communication.
A values-led approach
Every session centers authenticity, consent, and compassionate communication - delivered with an inclusive, never-shaming tone.
Clear frameworks that stick
My Confidence Coming Out Program and keys like BIAS/BAN give you simple ways to locate what’s happening and what you need next - turning insight into action.
Results that matter
Clients move from people-pleasing and doubt to clarity, self-trust, and grounded expression - skills they carry into relationships, work, and community.
IN THEIR OWN WORDS
Conversations with Ray feel like sharing a warm cup of tea wrapped in a cozy blanket, even on the dreariest days. Through present listening and reflective dialogue, Ray creates a visceral sense of empathy. When I feel overwhelmed or seek external relief, Ray gently offers a compass back to my internal power and sense of self-responsibility – a grounding return to reality, clarified with peace and ease.
Heather Bish
I have had several coaches over the years and I can't say enough about Ray... She is my favorite and the most effective coach ever. She listened to me... I mean REALLY listened. She has a gift that enables her to see the real problems underneath.
Melissa B. - Sales & Marketing
